Tomorrow is my 19th birthday. My birthday!! Usually I am over the moon about my birthday and am literally counting down the days, the hours, the minutes… even the seconds. But, this year I am really not too into my birthday, because truthfully, I am not with the people who mean the most to me.

My birthday is often filled with my family and my best friends, and although I have such amazing friends here with me at OU… MY people are not here. Although my boyfriend is flying up which I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT… things will not be the same. I miss my mom and my sister and my stepdad and especially, my brother.

19 is not significant in my mind. It is one step to being closer to 20, one step to being closer to 21. But, nothing happens when you’re 19. I am just praying that I will not be sad on my birthday because I just want to see my family.

Although it seems as though I have such a negative approach on my birthday, I think this is far from true. I think I am finally starting to get growing up. Your birthday is although a big day, it’s just another day in the step to growing up.

19 is a step to being a grown up… which honestly scares the crap out of me. I don’t believe I am ready to grow up and I definitely do not think I am ready to have to make my own HUGE decisions. Picking my major was a big enough decision for me, to think that soon (3 years) I am going to have to pick a job and pick what city I am going to live in scares me… but also excites me.

19 is another year that I have circled around the sun and it means that I am not a new adult. I’ve been an adult for a year and honestly have barely learned much, but I will not be 18 anymore. I will be “experienced” hahah not really, but it excites me.

I am so ready for 19, to start something new and start another year of living.

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